Who Should CEO's, Managers and HR Pros Be Friends with on Facebook?

Raise your hand if you're on Facebook! Meeee! And you, and you too, and 200 million others as well, except for those in China who at the moment cannot access Facebook whatsoever including even accessing my company's lovely and harmless careers page on Facebook. (Shameless plug!) But I digress...

Lately, I've noticed a bit of coverage online about whether to be friends on Facebook with coworkers, or should you be friends with your boss on Facebook, or implications of friending/defriending... and while I understand these dilemmas, one particular issue struck me... why are managers "even friending" their staff members on Facebook in the first place? If you're unsure of whether to be friends with your boss on Facebook, fine. But what to do if your manager sends you a friend request? Oy. Let's talk that one through.

I was talking with my CEO the other day, and the issue has come up with other leadership team members for varying social networks, and the topic was simply the proper etiquette for becoming friends or connecting with others on social networks. From my CEO's perspective, and as a CEO, he'll accept a Facebook friend request from someone within our organization (and yes, I friended him as soon as I found out he was on Facebook!)... but he won't personally seek out any "friends" within the company. And his reasons make sense:

• He doesn't want to put pressure on them of any sort to have to be his friend.
• He doesn't want them to think he's pursuing them in any inappropriate way. And maybe most importantly...
• He doesn't want them to feel like he's watching them in any way.

My CEO's logic got me thinking... the same should probably apply to anyone who manages staff and perhaps the same should also go for HR pros too.

Now I know, some of you out there will argue that maybe if your culture is ripe for it and that you're not a hierarchical organization and therefore, it's actually okay for a CEO or an HR pro to "friend" employees. It shows you're open, it shows you're accessible, it shows you're cool. I don't buy that though. I work for one of the flattest organizations ever, it's extremely non-hierarchical - and I love that about our culture. But at the end of the day? Even in a flat organization, you can be friendly with staff, but I'd argue as a CEO, as a manager, and as an HR pro, you can't really be friends with staff. You have decision making authority, you hold a position of power, and you can influence. And that does not put you on even footing with staff.

When I think about myself, I signed up for Facebook initially to use it as a spy tool. Seriously. And I still use Facebook today to look at candidates and business contacts. And I know the debate rages on about whether it's even legal or appropriate to do such - but that's not the point of this post. People are becoming more and more aware that many employers are "watching" their staff and looking at potential employees via social networks... and that simply makes it really hard for staff not to feel like they're being watched no matter how open and friendly a culture you have.

My advice? Be prudent. Don't try to be everyone's friend and follow the lead of my CEO. Be friendly, yes. Accepting a friend request, sure. Friending your staff? No. Let's just not go there. It's unavoidable; they're going to wonder if you're watching them...

Editor's Note- Jessica Lee is a Senior Employment Manager for APCO Worldwide, a global PR firm based in D.C. Like most upscale HR pros, she spends half of her time on recruiting, the other half on ER, Training and OD.  When she's not hammering a candidate to determine Motivational Fit, she's thinking about the future of HR, wondering how she can avoid using the job boards (but of course not rely on just social media) to fill the next spot in her organization.

Comments

[Lisa Rosendahl]

Hi Jessica, I follow your CEO's advice when it comes to my nieces and nephews. I jump on their friend requests as soon as they come in but do not seek out the ones that don't. I am using FB more as a family place - with an intermingling of some HR friends - and probably would not accept a friend request from a member of my staff. I say probably because noone has asked me! Anyone can get to me on my blog, on the kid's blog, on LinkedIn, and on Twitter. Right now, I use FB as the close to home place for me - I don't often seek people out to friend and have been a little more particular who I accept friend requests from there. My two cents! So, coming to MN anytime soon?!

[Skye Callan]

Great advice Jessica. Our CEO follows this logic as well.

Take care!

[The Real Anon]

I work in HR and that's my same policy. I will accept friend request from employees, but I do not send out friend request. Some employees have asked why I didn't friend them if I saw them on FB, and I just explain that I don't want anyone to feel pressured to accept a friendship request because of my position with the company. I have only received request from 4 employees - 2 of whom are on the same "level" as me in the company and the other two are not. I have not tried to friend my boss (the CEO) but other employees have and he has accepted their request so I guess his policy is the same.

[passing saliva drug test]

Where can i have more info on this ?

[J. Turner]

I can't believe what I'm reading. Gallup for years has been demonstrating to HR professionals the importance of a "best friend" at work. That said, I totally vote for "friending" vertically and horizontally at work!

[Amy B.]

This is such a new issue, but I agree with your CEO: accept Friend requests, but not solicit them. I think this same rule should apply to parents and children. Even though social media is open and public, being able to accept friends and followers lets us pretend we are working in a private, controlled environment! Great blog!

[Pasmuz]

I agree with the advice, "be prudent" and "you can be friendly with staff, but..., as a manager, and as an HR pro, you can't really be friends with staff." So I believe there has to be more distinct line in the sand. And that line has to be, to not accept any friend invitations from co-workers on Facebook. (LinkIn and Twitter have different purposes therefore have different rules for this.) Otherwise, by accepting some, it could appear that you are denying others. And that could lead to future issues when you are conducting investigations, approving compensation increases or promotions. This may change as societal norms change. But I recommend treading very carefully.

[Susan H.]

re. J. Turner's Gallup comment - I agree with the rationale behind employees having a "best friend" at work. I disagree that it should be their CEO, Manager or HR person for the reasons given by JLee and the other commenters.