Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow... Before You Leave Though, About That Exit Interview...

I was in the Big Apple a few weeks ago. It was a wonderful time and really, words or a blog entry won't do it any justice... so I won't try. I had a bit of a hard time saying goodbye though... it was one of those partings where you say farewell and walk away... and you want to look back to see if that person you've said goodbye to is still there watching you leave because they too weren’t quite ready to say goodbye. But you also don't want to look back because what if the person you've said goodbye to isn't there? What if he didn't stick and just turned around as soon as you said your goodbyes? You can't help but to turn around though, just to see. You with me? Thankfully, in this case, my New Yorker was still there, watching me leave.

On the escalator down to the train platform, the gentleman behind me quipped, “It looked hard saying goodbye back there." Isn't it always, I replied. Saying goodbye is never easy and on a HR listserv I subscribe to, there’s been a bit of chatter on exit interviews lately. Someone had sent around a column by Liz Ryan where the reader asked whether he should spill his guts in the exit interview. Liz advised:

"...I'd counsel you to clam up and tell your HR pal that the new opportunity was too close to your career goals for you to pass it up. Truth to tell, if she were on the ball she would have zeroed in on the workplace problems already..."

At first blush, her advice makes you want to scream, doesn't it? Because is Liz Ryan really telling people not to share their feedback when leaving? Is she trying to make our jobs as HR pros difficult? I mean, really - why hide the truth? But read it again - if the HR manager were on the ball, she would have zeroed in on the workplace problems already. Yep, Liz got it precisely right. Not too much of what comes up in an exit interview should be a surprise to a great HR pro. You feel me? Because if you're picking up on patterns and learning all sorts of "new" information about the employee experience and their reasons for leaving via exit interviews... it may be a sign that you're totally out of touch.

Not to say exit interviews have zero value... with hindsight on their side, I've seen departing employees contribute some really great and innovative ideas - a great reason to conduct exit interviews. I also like picking the brains of departing employees about what they think we should look for as we replace them. Are there things about their role, team, or manager we should keep in mind? It's a good conversation to have... because not only will they have some unique insight, but it also shows them that you care about what they think as they're leaving. If you don't want to burn your bridges, it's an important message to send - that they can still provide value even though they are one foot out the door. Other best practices? Send out the formal exit interview questions in advance. I use Zoomerang to do it and have their thoughts in advance of our meeting which makes it more of a conversation and less of an interview.

So for those who are on their way out the door and contemplating what and how much to say as you leave? Please do make a gracious exit. Share with your HR pro your insights... but hopefully, the reason you're leaving won't be a huge surprise. And me? As I’m having an exit interview with you? Well, I think you already saw this coming, so let’s make it a constructive chat and brainstorm a bit.

Editor's Note- Jessica Lee is an Employment Manager for APCO Worldwide, a global PR firm in D.C. Like most upscale HR pros, she spends half of her time on recruiting, the other half on ER, Training and OD.  When she's not hammering a candidate to determine Motivational Fit, she's thinking about the future of HR, and wondering how she can avoid using the job boards to fill the next spot in her organization...

Comments

[Wally Bock]

I'm a true cynic on this one. I'd like to know if any contributor here can point to something positive that came out of an exit interview. I'm not asking for "new knowledge" or "good ideas" that never went anywhere, I mean a change to the organization or business processes that made a difference worth the time of the interview. Just asking.

[Jessica Lee]

dear, cynical wally. no single interview has ever changed my life though; i'll admit that. and maybe we'll just differ on our philosophy or approach to exit interviews... but i don't expect for a departing employee to give me an idea that will cause sweeping organizational change to our culture or to processes. that's not the departing employee's job!

i do take nuggets from exit interviews, and their good ideas they may come up with... and when i sit back and analyze and think about all these small pieces of information in totality, that's where i think there's opportunity for big change.

for me, it's a conversation, it's a dialogue, and much less an interview... so i'll also float ideas past departing staff that have been developed as a result of many exit interviews, or from other forums. it's a good test group/brainstorming sample to me because they have started to remove themselves... and when you're too close, sometimes it's hard to really see how an idea might practically work out.

that's just how i see it though!

[Meg Bear]

Early in my career I got excellent life feedback in an exit interview. The job was not the best fit for me, I was tired of traveling and I was ready for a change. I did a bit too much whining about what I wanted during the exit interview and I was WAY too emotional.

The HR Pro was very clear that they were very intentional in their culture and that some of the things I wasn't fond of were "real world" skills you need to get senior positions.

In retrospect I learned some excellent things from that exchange. Mostly what not to do at an exit interview, but I am still thankful for the straight shooting HR pro. Interesting to note that I learned very useful skills for interviewing and hiring there as well.

[KD]

I'm mixed on the art of the exit interview. I've got some cynic in my like Wally, recognize the need to keep trying like Jessica, and love the experience of Meg.

What I'll take away from the post is to keep attempting to tweak the format to maximize the utility, and based on my biggest concern, which is an exit being a waste of time and becoming a gripe session - be straight and honest with the employee in question.

With that said - perhaps the exit interview needs to evolve to be more of a two way street? The only limitation is the liability presented, which means the process will continue to struggle to generate meaningful info for both sides...

KD

[Rachel]

I recently left my previous employer and had had difficulties with a member of upper management that hastened my exit.

When I did my exit interview with HR they were aware of these issues and asked if I would like to say anything about how the company could improve. I laughed and said "I think I will stay silent on this." She shared in my laughter knowing how frustrating the last 6 months had been and wished me well (she still asks mutual contacts how I am doing).

It felt good to not point fingers at the people or processes that had made me want to leave. I don't know when I might be up for a job and how leaving a scathing review of my VP might affect a future opportunity (it is a small world).

[Jessica Lee]

meg and rachel - thanks both for stopping by, and you guys raise excellent points for HR pros to consider (and i've heard this from others before as well)... the exit interview can be pretty cathartic, one of those letting go moments. i'm glad you both have had positive experiences with them.

KD - to your point, i think we probably need to re-evaluate how we approach the exit interview and what we ask. like with rachel above, being asked how the company can improve... it's a b.s. question and people don't know where to start with that. "better benefits. bigger pay." duh... right?

our mind-set probably needs to shift on the purpose of the exercise and what we're trying to solicit from going through it. more targeted questions, more thought into the conversation. we've gotta put aside the questions about why the person is leaving and make it a brainstorming exercise and then hopefully there's greater value in it. i worry a lot of people treat the exit interview like a rookie recruiter treats the interview... canned questions without much thought into how to make it an engaging dialogue. i dunno if i'm totally alone on this one, but i still see the value and can't quite give up on doing them just yet.